Your Cigarette

It was just past nine o'clock
I was just closing up shop
I stepped out onto the lot
I could have sworn i smelled your cigarette
smoke drifting in little ringlets

I used to smoke with you
even when you told me not to
who are you to tell me what to do?
when you couldnt even take care of yourself
and you asked me, so i tried to help

But I got caught up in you
even when you told me not to
it was all that i could do
the smoke had clouded my eyes
i could no longer tell the pleading from the lies

you worried about my health
while you slowly killed yourself
cigarettes, they work to slow
and i learned that you turned to more
when i saw the pills that you spilled on the floor

the liquor on your breath
was holy wine and blessed
i worshipped the air you breathed
but then once you didnt want to breath
to save myself, i knew i had to leave

but i was in too deep
the smoke and ash consumed me
i had to break it up to get out
and thats when, my friend, you broke
and you almost then turned into smoke

it was a short hospital stay
i should have visited every day
but i still hadnt found my way
i still regret that i left you that way
but i had to pick one of us, and that was me

i cleaned up all the blood
that you shed in the bathtub
I picked the pills up one by one
and i threw them all in the trash
opened windows for smoke, and dumped out the ash

you called me the next week
said you were sorry and feeling weak
but getting stronger and maybe soon
we could try again to live
but i knew that i was through with all of it

I didnt want to die
and i felt that I had died
but something deep inside
was yearning to breathe again
and i gave it as much air as i can

i cleared out all the smoke
brought your things back to your old home
your mother gave me a hug
she said she's sorry, but that don't make no difference
You knew I loved you, but I just had to quit it

And now sometimes i smell that smoke
the cigarettes you like to toke
and when i do it takes me back
to your face, in a place where we loved
grass underneath and the stars above